I'd be worried more about my eyesight than the snow...

The Washington Post reports:

A resident reported that a white dog appeared to be stuck in heavy snow in a yard; it had not moved in some time, and the caller feared for the animal's safety. An officer entered the yard and discovered that the "dog" was a metalized nylon balloon with the face of a white dog on it.

Snowpanic.com Hits Wikipedia

So someone decided to create a "Snurricane" article on Wikipedia.  Since Wikipedia these days is all about the citations, at 12:46 yesterday, someone (sloppily) pasted a reference to this site into the article.  At 12:52 the link was removed, but for 6 shining moments, we were there.

The whole article will probably be deleted (most activity now seems to be arguing about which precise justification applies), so enjoy it while you can.

Uh oh

I just spotted someone walking out of Lowe's with a new shovel, and
now I see someone inside with one.

Snow Hurricane? Snurricane?

People are calling the storm we're about to get a "snow hurricane".  Apparently people are wrong, but that's no reason not to panic.

Snow Panic a Growth Industry?

National Geographic indicates that winters like this past one (with two 2'+ snowfalls) -- 1-in-300-year events in the old days -- may become the norm.  Global warming, which you might think would prevent snowstorms, may actually cause them.  Not necessarily for the reason previously speculated here -- shutdown of the Gulf Stream -- but because warmer temperatures cause more moisture to be evaporated from oceans.

School Buses in Laurel Get Stuck

If my memory of high school is accurate, this is probably the most awesome thing that happened to the kids all year:

She said the Eleanor Roosevelt bus became stuck when it tried to make a U-turn on a snowy street that is part of its normal route. Its 16 student passengers had to get off the bus while a tow truck pulled it out.

Fan Mail

A reader writes:

Your website is very, very funny! I live in northeastern Ohio, and we probably have a couple of feet of snow on the ground now, and I swear, people are in such a panic. Like it never snows in northeastern Ohio in February! So I've been enjoying you website a great deal as I taunt my Facebook friends, who are all in a tizzy over snow. Snow! Have a great day and stay warm!

Thanks! This is a good opportunity to remind people that they can become our fan on Facebook.

How Not to Get Ice off Your Roof

• Don't use a propane torch.
• Don't use a propane torch if you have antique Porsches in your garage.
• "[H]ire a professional -- one who doesn't employ propane torches."

Someone in Rockville violated all those rules.

Hide the Women and Children

Reader DB sends in news of this Snow Dalek, sure to strike panic into the hearts of nerds everywhere.  Panic of a different sort  is in the air here in Wilmington, NC, where our nephew told us about his neighbor's anatomically correct Lady Gaga snowman.  (Sorry, no pictures.) 

Great Moments in Senate Speechifying

"I am convinced that infants born in Washington, D.C., are taken from the arms of their loving mothers right when they are born into a room where someone shows a film of a snowstorm with shrieking and screaming so that those children come to believe snow is a mortal enemy, like a nuclear attack, because I have seen, for over 40 years here, people in this town go into a full-scale panic at the thought of a snowfall."

-Sen. Dick Durbin, D-IL

No, really, people like to buy bread before snowstorms...

 

Almost a week after the snow started (not counting the minor snowfall we had in the middle of last week), the bread supply at our local Giant is still depleted. Almost everything else is in good supply, but heaven help you if you want bread. (Fortunately, I bought two loaves last week, so we have more than we need.)

Not the best way to get your street plowed...

County drivers working to plow the roads in Prince George's County were accosted Thursday around 10 a.m. by several residents, who told them that if their streets didn't get plowed they were going to "throw them out of their trucks and beat them up," said Susan Hubbard, spokeswoman for the county's Department of Public Works and Transportation.

Full report, including a clarification that doesn't really clear things up, in the Washington Post.

Snowholes Park Where They Like

A reader from Germantown, MD tells us that one of her neighbors panicked in their condo parking lot. What else could explain parking in the middle of the lot? S/he blocked in two available spots, and made it very difficult for parked cars on both sides of the street to get out. Snow plows, of course, cannot squeeze by.

Morning Snowflakes

As I gird myself to head out and shovel (again), please enjoy these tales of snow panic.

• Two James Madison University student have been charged with felony assault for throwing snowballs ("missiles") at a snow plow and undercover police. (Thanks to Snowpanic.com reader JG for the tip.)
  
• A falling chunk of ice dislodged a gas line, causing a leak at a NW Washington school.
  
• A Hyattsville woman joked on Tuesday, "Now would be a really bad time to go into labor." Wednesday, at the height of the blizzard, she did.
  

Additional Accumulation

 

We're measuring 9" on the previously-shoveled sidewalk at Snowpanic.com. Probably more on top of the existing snow, but we have no good way of measuring that.

So tomorrow is for shoveling. We still have power, satellite TV and Internet access, so we're grateful.

They'll pry her snowball from her cold, cold hand...

Snow ball fights in dc are hard core on 12seconds.tv

There's a new report of an interaction between snowballs and police officers in DC. Either police tried to break up a snowball fight, got hit by a snowball, and arrested the woman who threw it, or police tried to break up a snowball fight, may or may not have gotten hit by a snowball, and arrested the woman who didn't throw it. Depends on whom you believe. Unless there's more conclusive video footage, this one doesn't have the legs of the December story.

A Snowmaggedon Mystery

The Washington post reports that the Tenleytown Safeway was left open by employees fleeing today's storm. In response, weary residents walked in, took groceries, and left money on the empty checkout counters.

A heartwarming tale of people doing the right thing in the midst of absolute chaos. But it gets weirder...

Safeway spokesman Craig M. Muckle said a member of Safeway's security staff got to the store shortly after 2 p.m. Muckle said he was told by the security staff member that all four doors were locked and nothing appeared out of the ordinary.

"Nothing was actually taken," Muckle said. "And there was no money left on the counter."

Oh, so it was an urban legend? Not really...

The paragraph immediately preceding the above denial reads:

A Post reporter was able to enter the Tenleytown store and saw the money, confirming accounts by witnesses and the police. In fact, police said they were having trouble finding anyone from the supermarket chain to secure the building about 1 p.m.

So who are you going to believe? Safeway spokesman Craig M. Muckle? Or the police and Washington Post? I don't know; it makes me suspicious of Safeway's other denials.

I Hope the Fonz's Jacket Is Safe

A Smithsonian warehouse in Maryland has collapsed.

(They say that everything inside is probably OK, but it's too dangerous to check.)

Dear Dr. Snowpanic, Active Adult Edition

Dear Dr. Snowpanic,

I live in an Active Adult Community.  We have a major problem with crazies everyday, but it's gotten ever-so worse with this blizzard.  The residents are constantly bothering the snowplow contractors, telling them how to operate the plows and where they should plow and where they should dump the snow, that the workers had to leave the neighborhood because it was too dangerous to do the job.   How can we get these people to understand that they are not the only blizzard victims, short of holding their faces down in the snow?

 

Ann Achronism

 

Dear AA:

It sounds like your neighbors have insufficient empathy for the difficult job the snowplow operators have to do.  One solution for this problem is to organize "ride alongs".  Pair each resident with a snowplow operator and let them learn the ins and outs of the job of snowplowing.  As an added bonus, the contractors will be able to receive advice without having to slow down, thus speeding the plowing of your community.

If this fails, I suggest moving to a community of less active adults.  If by the time they get out to the street, the snowplow is long gone, then the workers will be left in peace.

Good luck!

-Dr. Snowpanic

Sometimes a SnowAngel

What defines SnowPanic? It's more than just a sudden, burning desire for French toast ingredients. Panic in the face of a recent catastrophe can result in rioting, looting, and other boundary violations. Disregard for others' space and property, and an inflated sense of one's own needs, can result.

For example, Sunday I noticed a large pyramid of snow in our back yard, near the fence line, which could not have been natural. It was clearly a pile created by a dump of snow, either a one-time dump by a bobcat, or a repeated dump by a man-powered shovel. It was clear my neighbor, who parks in two alley spots carved out of his back yard, had purposefully shoveled a great pile of snow over our fence. In fact, I caught him at it Monday, and we had a brief, polite exchange. (One well-placed "Really?" apparently convinced him to stop dumping snow into my yard without permission.)

In principle, these SnowHoles have invaded a well-defined, obvious border without even thinking to ask for permission. On the other hand, perhaps their relatively harmless actions should be overlooked given the Snowmaggeddon.

From Haiti, I was not too surprised to learn that looters invaded Main Street not too long after their climactic event. Basic needs -- for water, food, and clothing -- can quickly outweigh morality in the face of dire circumstance. But Haitians invading Wall Street, looting bank vaults, is less fathomable; undoubtedly price gouging by those possessing necessities -- building materials, bus tickets to the D.R. -- played a role. Trying to determine how far the moral lines can reasonably move according to current events can melt one's creative energies for hours.

Then, sometimes a SnowAngel restores one's faith in human nature; the simple act on Monday of another neighbor who -- seeing Dr. Snowpanic's fifth attempt to clear the drive -- walked over and helped with the last push, warmed us so that I forgot my pique with the alley SnowHole.

"So shines a good deed in a weary world."