Saturday, December 19, 2009

Crafty Ways to Pass the Snowpocalypse

If you are considering leaving home to shop, attend parties, or just play chicken with the snowplows, here are some tips to keep you safely indoors.

1. Celebrate Christmas early by opening all the presents. Be sure to save the wrapping! Later, you can re-wrap them for the pagan date.
2. Google all your exes to see how they're spending the snowpocalypse.
3. Time your Menorah candles to see how long they'll burn.
4. Crochet or knit some long johns for the pets in your home. They'll need to go out sometime.
5. Gather all the lint from your dryer and the dust bunnies from under your bed to create a new pet. Proceed with no. 4.
6. Need down to restuff your comforter? Feed the birds uncooked rice. Bonus: time the little guys' implosions.
7. Create your own state-of-emergency slide: Water down the walks, and create vests out of orange construction paper. Use empty Amazon boxes, large silver platters, or broken snow shovels to slide away!
8. Build an igloo by piling snow, throwing water over it, and then digging it out once it's iced. You'll need the extra abode for all your stranded party guests, and igloos stay quite warm when full of people! Just one Menorah candle will light it up!
9. Make paper maché goods-- fruitcakes (which might taste better), gifts for forgotten relatives, temporary pet housing, dioramas of stranded vehicles, life-size snowplows, or anemometers -- using all that extra toilet paper, milk, bread, and eggs.
10. Begin a blog to keep your family apprised of your situation. Be sure to link your email to the blog, so that you can send messages from a web-enabled phone once the power goes out.

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