Saturday, December 19, 2009

Ask Mr. Snow Panic, Take Two

Dear Mr. Snow Panic:

I'm thinking of having a big party this evening.

Should I:

a) Pretend to be unconcerned and wonder where everyone is?

b) Check my supply of milk and toilet paper, because I will have more than my normal number of overnight guests?

c) Run a taxi service with my new snow tires so I don't have to shovel out parking places for my guests?

d) PANIC?

e) All of the above!

A Concerned Citizen

Dear Concerned Citizen:

Perhaps you need to be reminded of the name of this feature. Of course you should PANIC! Note, that this could also include b), especially if you make a desperate attempt to get to the store to procure the milk and toilet paper, and then push others out of your way. Extra points awarded if you abandon your car either on the way there or the way back. You may want to consider rescheduling your party for a later date for those unfortunate enough not to make it tonight. For example, if you were planning a tree-trimming party, you could hold it again in the new year as a tree-untrimming party.

If you find yourself with excess refreshments for tonight's party, Mrs. Snow Panic suggests you walk to the nearest intersection and recruit stranded motorists to join your party. Good luck!