Saturday, December 19, 2009

Ask Mr. Snow Panic, Take Three

Dear Mr. Snow Panic:

My friend BC [no relation to the comic strip one...] scheduled his party for tonight, and I just spent 2 hours getting to Crofton for it.

My dilemma is: Is there any reason to wait until the official time to start drinking, or can we begin once the tree is up?
I swear it is for medicinal purposes....

Also, is it inappropriate to ask the guests to bring extra milk & toilet paper; so he does not run out?

Friend of Bill

Dear FOB:

If what I have witnessed is any guide, most of your fellow Marylanders did not wait until their two-hour drive finished before...taking their medicine. If you do not wish to wait until the tree is up, by all means begin indulging while loudly giving direction to those who are doing the actual physical labor. As for the milk and toilet paper, the milk can be omitted if you are willing to drink your Bailey's straight. Under no circumstances may the toilet paper be omitted. Good luck!


  1. Dear DSP,

    I am planning to attend BC party in Crofton, but don't have any TP to spare. Can you suggest any alternatives?

    Another Friend of Bill

    PS: After some digging I did find an old copy of "Wealth Without Risk" that recommends maxing out my credit cards to buy stock and/or real estate. Would this work? It is very absorbent, but otherwise not very useful.

  2. I make no guarantees, but I think you are unlikely to be turned away if you show up with alcohol. Good luck!