Did we get enough snow to close school? A visual cheat sheet.

This awesome map, first posted on Reddit, shows how much snow it takes to cancel snow in various parts of the country. I am proud to live in the 1"-3" band.

Georgia Tech EMERGENCY

Yep, that's a doozy.

Snow Hits North Carolina

Buncombe County roads, a photo by NCDOTcommunications on Flickr.

Oh, the horror.

Snow Panic Hits the South

Here's a tweet from an Alabama meteorologist who had to abandon his car after what looks like an inch of snow.

Here is a map of what a similar amount of snow did to the roads in Atlanta, courtesy of the Weather Channel's Tom Niziol.

For certain senses of the word "awesome"...

In general, I love Google's Auto-Awesome for photos. But there are a few effects that seem a little bit cheesy, like adding falling snow. It's sort of the 21st-century equivalent of stickers you used to be able to buy to paste on your pictures, back when you had to go to the store to have pictures developed.

It confuses my 3-year-olds, though.

Snowpanic in June?

The Washington Post is reporting that many area school systems have exhausted their store of snow days and will be adding days to the end of the year. As a kid, I always thought snow days were not that exciting...it just shifted around the days that you were going to school. Even if you still had snow days "left", it just meant you wouldn't be getting out of school early in the summer. Now, 2-hour delays...that was time you'd never have to give back. Ditto early dismissals.

Enjoy this awesome picture...

...courtesy of Creative Commons.When I stated blogging, I would grab pictures from wherever, because the Internet was young, and I figured nobody would care. Once or twice someone complained, but it was rare. Now, however, I try to be more responsible. One of the great ways to find pictures now is through the Creative Commons Search. You can find some nice pictures (like the one of a DuPont Circle snowball fight I used on an earlier post) that you only need to give credit in order to have permission to use. With Flickr, they provide you an appropriate link on the image page itself. And you can get some quality, recent pictures, like the one above.

Snowpanic...dot...cz

So apparently there's a Czech snowboard shop trading on the Snowpanic name. As long as no lawyers get involved, I will choose to be entertained by this.

Let's be careful out there

My unofficial count has three traffic fatalities already in Maryland. Two in Landover (accident pictured), and one near Emmitsburg. So even though we joke about how people in Maryland can't drive in the snow...people in Maryland really can't drive in the snow. You probably don't want to be on the road with them unless you absolutely have to.

It's On Again!

The Washington Post reports that the traditional DuPont Circle snowball fight is scheduled for 6:30 pm. So grab your scarf and leave your gun at home.

Dr. Snowpanic Greets the Morning

So far we've seen less "snow panic" and more "snow lull us into a false sense of security." Dr. Snowpanic greeted the dawn with a sense that the snowfall so far had been underwhelming. Looking at the forecasts, I see that the real impact is supposed to be in the coming hours, but so far, all we have is a dusting, and a bit of slush on the deck.

As you can see below, the mean streets of Bowie are pretty much clear. Note the Snowpanicmobile (four-wheel drive, of course) parked at a jaunty angle in the driveway so that the streets can be cleared -- in compliance with City of Bowie snow regulations regarding an event producing two or more inches of snow.

 

More updates to come later in the day, although once the Snowflakes (no two exactly alike!) wake up, coverage may be unpredictable.

"Mild winters gobble up snow budgets"

This story makes my head hurt. It explains that despite the fact that we haven't gotten so much as an inch of a snow on any given day this winter, the States of Maryland and Virginia have somehow used up a majority (Virginia) or all (Maryland) of their snow budgets for the season.

We've Forgotten How to Drive!

Snowpanic.com has been somewhat dormant since its heyday in the 2009/2010 season of superstorms. One of the reasons for that is that after Snowpocalypse and Snowmaggedon, everything else seemed anticlimactic. How much time would have to pass before we could get scared by a little snow again? We have an answer!

The Washington Post captions this picture, "Remember snow like this? Many drivers don’t, and that’s likely to be a problem on Wednesday." Can we really have forgotten how bad it was just a couple of years ago? Have enough people moved to the area in the past 3 years? Stay tuned!

Dear Dr. Snowpanic: Rain Panic Edition

A reader writes,

Can we have Rain Panic too?

(and then some other stuff).

Sorry it has taken two days to answer this e-mail. The Snowpanic household had been overtaken by stomach bug panic. Dr. Snowpanic's Seinfeldian streak ended at a respectable two years, three months and seventeen days.

This is a two-part answer. The first is, yes, for $10/year, the domain rainpanic.com is available. Feel free to have at it.

The second is, sure! Pack up your car for the great state of West Virginia and wait for their steely Mountaineer determination to crumble as Sandy dumps foot after foot of snow on them.

Dr. and Mrs. Snowpanic, however, will restrict themselves to the Twinpanic side of the family business as we try to figure out how to entertain two two-year-olds during the inevitable power outage.

Dumb Criminal Bulletin

Last week's snowstorm left many people across the DC area without power. Cell phones are great, but how do you charge your phone if your home is without power? Many people might bring their phone to work and plug it in. This is not a problem, unless your boss is a jerk, or you are a burglar who is startled and leaves your phone in the house, so that police can use it to track you down.

How dare they tow abandoned cars?

The Washington Post has an article today about the bad luck of the people whose cars were towed after being abandoned during the recent snowstorm.  The article's editorial perspective, however, seemed to me a bit odd.

Look...you may have good reasons for leaving your car on the side of the road (or in the middle of an intersection, in the case of one person interviewed for the article). But trying to make villains of the towing companies is a little bit difficult in this case, since they were helping clear the roads so that other people could get around. So the article seems to demonize those who refused to stop.

"I helped push seven cars out of trouble, but then when I looked back, I couldn't get no one to help me," he said. So he left his Oldsmobile Alero on the side of the ramp, and started the long walk to a Giant to get a ride from a friend.

Well, can you blame them?  Look what happened to you when you stopped to help other people.

In the tale of the woman who left her car in the middle of an intersection, the article writer tries to introduce a little class warfare:

For almost 15 minutes, she tried to wave down every passing car. A string of BMWs and Audis passed by, but the drivers wouldn't make eye contact, as though even a look would oblige them to help.

(Disclaimer: Dr. Snowpanic gets around town in a 2001 Honda -- with four-wheel drive, of course.) So who stops to help her? "A short man driving one of the oldest, most beaten-up cars she'd ever seen." Of course -- I also picture him as balding, with a potbelly.

There is plenty to criticize in the response to the storm -- towing should be more systematic, so drivers know where to retrieve their cars.  Maybe the local governments should pay tow-truck drivers to pull cars into nearby parking lots, rather than to their impound lots.  But you have to pay them somehow to go out in the middle of a snowstorm, and I didn't see anyone in the article volunteering to have their taxes raised to get that to happen.

Bringing a box cutter to a snowball fight...

Last winter, we reported on the case of the cop who brought a gun to a snowball fight.

This winter, Tyree Merle Alexander (pictured) was arrested for responding to a snowball in his direction with a box cutter.  Ick.

power lines

power lines
Originally uploaded by JosephLeonardo

In case you were wondering why so many people's power is out.

Every Car for Itself

The nexus of snow and rush hour turned out to be a really bad thing, as predicted here.  Anarchy prevailed in Montgomery County

By 1:30 a.m., gridlock had turned into traffic anarchy on Colesville Road in Silver Spring. Just past Sligo, before Four Corners, frustrated bumper-to-bumper northbound drivers decided to take over the southbound lane as they attempted to climb the hill.

Except cars were still coming southbound, and snow removal trucks, too. On both sides, vehicles were stuck, including an 18-wheeler flatbed truck.

-- The Washington Post

Also, any time a post contains the phrases "rush hour" and "1:30 am", you know there's trouble.

Panic panic

Posting will be a little lighter here than last year, when we had little to do but monitor news sources for examples of panic.  If you're wondering why, see Twinpanic.com.

I am trying to do some snow-related retweets at twitter.com/snowpanic, but even that's going to be intermittent.

For now, we're lucky enough to have power on, though the lights have flickered.  If they go, expect the first snowpanic/twinpanic crosspost...in about 3 weeks when we'd recover...

Actual reasons to panic...

According to the Post, 2 inches snow/hour + rush hour=bad news.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Panic...

The Post says "at least a moderate snowstorm".  A little bit out of context?  Yep, but that's how we roll here at the 'panic.  Stay tuned to see if we have the first serious milk and toilet paper run of the '10-'11 season.

Boxing Day Snowgnarök

OK, after "Snowpocalypse" and "Snowmaggedon", we're kind of running out of ideas here...

I don't mean to alarm you (who am I kidding, this is snowpanic.com, of course I do), but there is a Winter Storm Watch for tomorrow.  Quoth the meteorologists:

ACCUMULATIONS...POSSIBILITY OF 5 OR MORE INCHES.

Let me just emphasize: I am not using all-caps to scare you. THE WEATHER PEOPLE ARE.

They Said "Crippling"

According to the Washington Post,

The latest GFS model simulates a major to crippling East Coast snowstorm for Sunday.

(And then a bunch of caveats, but why should those concern us?)

It's Not Too Soon to Start Panicking about the Next Storm!

The Washington Post reports on people spending fistfuls of money to stave off snow-related disaster.  How can you spend your money with winter still a month and a half away?

• "Installing heat tape in a W or Y pattern along the roof at the gutter's edge and into downspouts costs between $500 and $1,000..."
• "Ice and water shield installation costs about $500 to $750 for an entire roof." 
• "To stop the escape of heat, homeowners may want to install new fiberglass insulation ($500 to $1,000) in the attic or blow-in foam insulation, which is more permeating ($2,000 to $5,000), Burgess said."
• "You can pay as little as $250 for a small electric plug-in snowblower, $400 to $500 for a decent gasoline-powered blower that can easily clear most sidewalks and smaller residential driveways, and up to $1,500 for a ride-on machine than can blow the snow some 50 feet."
• "Lower-priced gasoline-powered rollaway units that can be stored in a garage or shed until needed cost between $600 and $2,500." 
• "[A] whole-house stand-alone generator...can be installed in a permanent location for a total price of $7,000 to $8,000."

This is DC: We Need to Know Where to Place Blame

In regard to the snowstorms that affected the D.C. metro region and other mid-Atlantic and northeast coastal regions, a new study by a team of scientists at Columbia University's Lamont-Doherty Earth Observatory argues that global warming was not involved.

Instead, the Washington Post reports,

the anomalous winter was primarily the result of convergence of an exceptionally strong El Nino and unusually strong negative phase of North Atlantic Oscillation (NAO).

Just so we're clear.

Mind the Snow Emergency Route

Just heard on Channel 4 News: According to Police Chief Cathy Lanier, DC Police handed out 4,000 parking tickets during the blizzard to cars parked along emergency routes. At $250 a pop, that's ... $1 MILLION.

Perhaps that will replace some of that pitiful $6.2 million they had set aside for plowing.

DC also quickly ticketed cars legally parked but whose owners could not wade through the masses of plowed snow to reach the meters.

I'd be worried more about my eyesight than the snow...

The Washington Post reports:

A resident reported that a white dog appeared to be stuck in heavy snow in a yard; it had not moved in some time, and the caller feared for the animal's safety. An officer entered the yard and discovered that the "dog" was a metalized nylon balloon with the face of a white dog on it.

Snowpanic.com Hits Wikipedia

So someone decided to create a "Snurricane" article on Wikipedia.  Since Wikipedia these days is all about the citations, at 12:46 yesterday, someone (sloppily) pasted a reference to this site into the article.  At 12:52 the link was removed, but for 6 shining moments, we were there.

The whole article will probably be deleted (most activity now seems to be arguing about which precise justification applies), so enjoy it while you can.

Uh oh

I just spotted someone walking out of Lowe's with a new shovel, and
now I see someone inside with one.

Snow Hurricane? Snurricane?

People are calling the storm we're about to get a "snow hurricane".  Apparently people are wrong, but that's no reason not to panic.

Snow Panic a Growth Industry?

National Geographic indicates that winters like this past one (with two 2'+ snowfalls) -- 1-in-300-year events in the old days -- may become the norm.  Global warming, which you might think would prevent snowstorms, may actually cause them.  Not necessarily for the reason previously speculated here -- shutdown of the Gulf Stream -- but because warmer temperatures cause more moisture to be evaporated from oceans.

School Buses in Laurel Get Stuck

If my memory of high school is accurate, this is probably the most awesome thing that happened to the kids all year:

She said the Eleanor Roosevelt bus became stuck when it tried to make a U-turn on a snowy street that is part of its normal route. Its 16 student passengers had to get off the bus while a tow truck pulled it out.

Fan Mail

A reader writes:

Your website is very, very funny! I live in northeastern Ohio, and we probably have a couple of feet of snow on the ground now, and I swear, people are in such a panic. Like it never snows in northeastern Ohio in February! So I've been enjoying you website a great deal as I taunt my Facebook friends, who are all in a tizzy over snow. Snow! Have a great day and stay warm!

Thanks! This is a good opportunity to remind people that they can become our fan on Facebook.

How Not to Get Ice off Your Roof

• Don't use a propane torch.
• Don't use a propane torch if you have antique Porsches in your garage.
• "[H]ire a professional -- one who doesn't employ propane torches."

Someone in Rockville violated all those rules.

Hide the Women and Children

Reader DB sends in news of this Snow Dalek, sure to strike panic into the hearts of nerds everywhere.  Panic of a different sort  is in the air here in Wilmington, NC, where our nephew told us about his neighbor's anatomically correct Lady Gaga snowman.  (Sorry, no pictures.) 

Great Moments in Senate Speechifying

"I am convinced that infants born in Washington, D.C., are taken from the arms of their loving mothers right when they are born into a room where someone shows a film of a snowstorm with shrieking and screaming so that those children come to believe snow is a mortal enemy, like a nuclear attack, because I have seen, for over 40 years here, people in this town go into a full-scale panic at the thought of a snowfall."

-Sen. Dick Durbin, D-IL

No, really, people like to buy bread before snowstorms...

 

Almost a week after the snow started (not counting the minor snowfall we had in the middle of last week), the bread supply at our local Giant is still depleted. Almost everything else is in good supply, but heaven help you if you want bread. (Fortunately, I bought two loaves last week, so we have more than we need.)

Not the best way to get your street plowed...

County drivers working to plow the roads in Prince George's County were accosted Thursday around 10 a.m. by several residents, who told them that if their streets didn't get plowed they were going to "throw them out of their trucks and beat them up," said Susan Hubbard, spokeswoman for the county's Department of Public Works and Transportation.

Full report, including a clarification that doesn't really clear things up, in the Washington Post.

Snowholes Park Where They Like

A reader from Germantown, MD tells us that one of her neighbors panicked in their condo parking lot. What else could explain parking in the middle of the lot? S/he blocked in two available spots, and made it very difficult for parked cars on both sides of the street to get out. Snow plows, of course, cannot squeeze by.

Morning Snowflakes

As I gird myself to head out and shovel (again), please enjoy these tales of snow panic.

• Two James Madison University student have been charged with felony assault for throwing snowballs ("missiles") at a snow plow and undercover police. (Thanks to Snowpanic.com reader JG for the tip.)
  
• A falling chunk of ice dislodged a gas line, causing a leak at a NW Washington school.
  
• A Hyattsville woman joked on Tuesday, "Now would be a really bad time to go into labor." Wednesday, at the height of the blizzard, she did.
  

Additional Accumulation

 

We're measuring 9" on the previously-shoveled sidewalk at Snowpanic.com. Probably more on top of the existing snow, but we have no good way of measuring that.

So tomorrow is for shoveling. We still have power, satellite TV and Internet access, so we're grateful.

They'll pry her snowball from her cold, cold hand...

Snow ball fights in dc are hard core on 12seconds.tv

There's a new report of an interaction between snowballs and police officers in DC. Either police tried to break up a snowball fight, got hit by a snowball, and arrested the woman who threw it, or police tried to break up a snowball fight, may or may not have gotten hit by a snowball, and arrested the woman who didn't throw it. Depends on whom you believe. Unless there's more conclusive video footage, this one doesn't have the legs of the December story.

A Snowmaggedon Mystery

The Washington post reports that the Tenleytown Safeway was left open by employees fleeing today's storm. In response, weary residents walked in, took groceries, and left money on the empty checkout counters.

A heartwarming tale of people doing the right thing in the midst of absolute chaos. But it gets weirder...

Safeway spokesman Craig M. Muckle said a member of Safeway's security staff got to the store shortly after 2 p.m. Muckle said he was told by the security staff member that all four doors were locked and nothing appeared out of the ordinary.

"Nothing was actually taken," Muckle said. "And there was no money left on the counter."

Oh, so it was an urban legend? Not really...

The paragraph immediately preceding the above denial reads:

A Post reporter was able to enter the Tenleytown store and saw the money, confirming accounts by witnesses and the police. In fact, police said they were having trouble finding anyone from the supermarket chain to secure the building about 1 p.m.

So who are you going to believe? Safeway spokesman Craig M. Muckle? Or the police and Washington Post? I don't know; it makes me suspicious of Safeway's other denials.

I Hope the Fonz's Jacket Is Safe

A Smithsonian warehouse in Maryland has collapsed.

(They say that everything inside is probably OK, but it's too dangerous to check.)

Dear Dr. Snowpanic, Active Adult Edition

Dear Dr. Snowpanic,

I live in an Active Adult Community.  We have a major problem with crazies everyday, but it's gotten ever-so worse with this blizzard.  The residents are constantly bothering the snowplow contractors, telling them how to operate the plows and where they should plow and where they should dump the snow, that the workers had to leave the neighborhood because it was too dangerous to do the job.   How can we get these people to understand that they are not the only blizzard victims, short of holding their faces down in the snow?

 

Ann Achronism

 

Dear AA:

It sounds like your neighbors have insufficient empathy for the difficult job the snowplow operators have to do.  One solution for this problem is to organize "ride alongs".  Pair each resident with a snowplow operator and let them learn the ins and outs of the job of snowplowing.  As an added bonus, the contractors will be able to receive advice without having to slow down, thus speeding the plowing of your community.

If this fails, I suggest moving to a community of less active adults.  If by the time they get out to the street, the snowplow is long gone, then the workers will be left in peace.

Good luck!

-Dr. Snowpanic

Sometimes a SnowAngel

What defines SnowPanic? It's more than just a sudden, burning desire for French toast ingredients. Panic in the face of a recent catastrophe can result in rioting, looting, and other boundary violations. Disregard for others' space and property, and an inflated sense of one's own needs, can result.

For example, Sunday I noticed a large pyramid of snow in our back yard, near the fence line, which could not have been natural. It was clearly a pile created by a dump of snow, either a one-time dump by a bobcat, or a repeated dump by a man-powered shovel. It was clear my neighbor, who parks in two alley spots carved out of his back yard, had purposefully shoveled a great pile of snow over our fence. In fact, I caught him at it Monday, and we had a brief, polite exchange. (One well-placed "Really?" apparently convinced him to stop dumping snow into my yard without permission.)

In principle, these SnowHoles have invaded a well-defined, obvious border without even thinking to ask for permission. On the other hand, perhaps their relatively harmless actions should be overlooked given the Snowmaggeddon.

From Haiti, I was not too surprised to learn that looters invaded Main Street not too long after their climactic event. Basic needs -- for water, food, and clothing -- can quickly outweigh morality in the face of dire circumstance. But Haitians invading Wall Street, looting bank vaults, is less fathomable; undoubtedly price gouging by those possessing necessities -- building materials, bus tickets to the D.R. -- played a role. Trying to determine how far the moral lines can reasonably move according to current events can melt one's creative energies for hours.

Then, sometimes a SnowAngel restores one's faith in human nature; the simple act on Monday of another neighbor who -- seeing Dr. Snowpanic's fifth attempt to clear the drive -- walked over and helped with the last push, warmed us so that I forgot my pique with the alley SnowHole.

"So shines a good deed in a weary world."

Dear Dr. Snowpanic, Snoverkill Edition

Dear Dr. SnowPanic:

My evergreens seem to have disappeared. Can you help me look for them?

VTY: Friend of Bill

Dear FOB:

Thank you for being the first Dr. Snowpanic questioner to submit a multimedia question. Welcome to the 21st century! (Or possibly the 16th.)

What you are seeing is a phenomenon know as the "tree line".  This imaginary line represents the boundary beyond which trees can no longer survive.  Fear not for the trees, however, as years of adaptation have enabled them to recognize this shift.  They have no doubt migrated south for the time being.  Should warm temperatures return in the next few weeks, expect them to make a re-appearance.  If not, well, the phrase Nullarbor Plain is already taken - start thinking of a new one that Maryland can use!

Good Luck!

-Dr. Snowpanic

Dear Dr. Snowpanic, Neverending Storm Edition

Dear Dr. Snowpanic,

Can you please explain when we officially transition from panicking about the last storm and start panicking about the next one? What are the rules for the proper amount of post-storm panicking?

-- Wondering in Laurel

Dear WiL:

Having just returned from a harrowing two-mile drive, Dr. Snowpanic can say with a lot of authority that panic about the last storm is still appropriate. On the other hand, it's hard to avoid worrying about the 5-10" we have coming. (Or 10-20" based on completely unsubstantiated reports I've seen on Twitter and Facebook.) Think of your panic for the new storm as a layer that slowly settles on top of the panic you still have piled up from the last storm. Get used to the ability to handle more than one panic at once; it will help you in other facets of life.

Good luck!

-Dr. Snowpanic

Third Snow Yields Third Haiku

Winter snow is cold.
Winter snow is seasonal.
Summer snow - unreal!

J.F. Grantham, Tucson, AZ

Dear Dr. Snowpanic, Global Warming Denial Edition

Dear Dr. Snowpanic;

Wouldn't you agree that the weather events of the past month have vindicated the global warming deniers?

Concerned citizen,
Tucson, Arizona

Dear CCTA,

I would say, rather, that the recent weather in DC was vindicated noted science fiction author Kim Stanley Robinson.  His 2005 book, Fifty Degrees Below, features the nation's capital trapped beneath feet of snow.  Sound familiar? 

You see, according to NASA, "Global warming could plunge North America and Western Europe into a deep freeze, possibly within only a few decades." This global warming scenario envisions a shutdown of the North Atlantic Conveyor (what laypeople refer to as the "Gulf Stream"). The true snow panicker should assume such an event is happening right now; that is as plausible as thinking that the snowstorms have disproved global warming. Think you survived the December and February snows OK? How about the March, April, June and July ones?

Good luck!

-Dr. Snowpanic

Ear of Snow

 


We're trying to decide whether or not to panic over this formation that we found hanging off the side of our house. I ended up knocking most of it off with a broom, so it wouldn't take any of the roof with it when it fell.

Photo Credit: Mrs. Snowpanic.

Snowball Fight in Dupont Circle

IMG_4533
Originally uploaded by zugaldia

Dr. and Mrs. Snowpanic were sad to miss this epic snowball fight yesterday in Dupont Circle, as well as the much closer one at McKeldin Mall at the University of Maryland.

Dr. Snowpanic Is Back!

Twenty-five inches of snow isn't going to stop Dr. Snowpanic.  OK, interrupted Internet access is, but it's working again!  Time to search the news for more snow-related insanity.  As always, send your tips to jon@snowpanic.com.

Snow plow panic

I'm having trouble following the news here without Internet access, but I just read our town e-mail list. Someone was asking if the whole town was without power. Thanfully, I knew that we're not, but apparently a tree fell down on a nearby street, taking out a power line and trapping the town snow plow.

Great.

In other news, I dug out far enough to see the giant block of ice hanging from our cable TV line -- that probably explains why the Internet is out.

Roof collapse

Pretty impressive picture...
http://twitpic.com/11qtp8/full

Now I'm really panicking

Internet access is down at Snowpanic.com.

View from the Front

This was the scene around 8AM at Snowpanic.com HQ. It's only gotten worse.

Snow Crafts and Activities, Episode 2

During the SnowPocalypse, we here at SnowPanic.com reminded you to stay at home and safe. During the current Snowmaggedon, we have additional fun if evanescent crafts for you to try.
1. Make ice cream using half-and-half, milk, any fruit or hot chocolate mixes, and snow. Lots and lots of snow.
2. Home alone? Need a date? Make a snowman or woman to keep you company in the long, winter nights. When the power goes out you can bring your date inside. Be sure to dress them if you create anatomically correct ones.
3. Using a spare drape or sheet, create a set of racing flags. Have your family and/or neighbors build their own snow-carts and have street racing on unplowed streets.
4. Play hide and seek with your kids! After bundling them up in layers and snowsuits, toss them into a snow drift, then call your husband or other kids find them while you go inside and enjoy the quiet. (If you have no kids, you may substitute pets.)
5. Prepare for the upcoming holidays by creating your own Valentines using presidents' portraits cut from your children’s schoolbooks.
6. Build a hot-air balloon using aluminum foil, a propane heating tank, plastic tarps, and a laundry basket. After setting it aloft, call the news and tell them you think your service animal was inside – or anything that might grab the newscasters’ attention from the snow.
7. Create macaroni pictures using pasta, matzo, flour-&-water paste, and food coloring. Be sure to use all edible ingredients and eat it later, because you won’t be able to get to the store for days.
8. Mix fireplace ash with the snow to create ethnic snow-people.
9. Make snow angels by playing chicken with the snowplows or tractor trailers.
10. Create your own crafts idea and submit it to SnowPanic.com.

The Roof, The Roof, The Roof Is On...The Floor

...at the Marriott Wardman Park. So, escaping to a hotel is not a complete solution to the day's events...

Neither rain nor snow, nor...oh, never mind.

Just heard on Channel 5 that the Post Office has suspended delivery for the area today.  Good thing I don't have any Netflix to return.  I guess we'd better watch the discs we have, since the power is still up.

Ask Dr. Snow Panic From Arizona

Dear Dr. Snowpanic,

I have been keeping a very close watch on the Snowpocalypse from my home in (sunny, warm) Arizona, because I am concerned for the welfare of relatives who live in the D.C area.  The Weather  Channel, however, only seems to have regular live coverage from Atlantic City and Philadelphia.  Is it so bad in your area that all the weather reporters may have called in sick? 

Sincerely,
Concerned Relative

Dear Concerned Relative,

I will have to take your word for it, because The Weather Channel is one of the channels we no longer receive from the satellite.  I assume it will return in a week or so when the snow melts.  The local stations, however, have found no shortage of reporters to send out into the snow and ask people why they have ventured into the snow, then film them as they try to dig the cars out.

For The Weather Channel, however, I suspect the problem is similar to when you read a story about the dangerous Yemeni insurgency and then notice that the story is datelined Cairo.  Intrepid correspondents may have refused their orders to travel into the danger zone -- I do not know what sort of courtmartial provisions basic cable TV has.

Good luck!

-Dr. Snowpanic

Snow Crash

To use the term du jour, please, everyone, "shelter in place".  The Washington Post reports a ridiculous number of crashes in Maryland and Virginia today. 

• "A van ran into the back of a snow plow on Route 426 at Interstate 95."
• In Virginia, two men stopped to help another motorist and were hit by a tractor-trailer

Here at Snowpanic.com, we like to make light of the brouhaha, but if panic causes you to stay off the road, good.

Didn't See This One Coming...

Of all the hazards that people anticipated from Snowmaggedon, I don't think people at Washington Hospital Center expected to be evacuated because a snow plow caught fire.

Clean the Shelves!

For those who think that tales of shopping panic in the DC area are exaggerated, Gawker has some impressive pictures of shelves stripped bare at Safeway and Wegman's.

Our Rich Snow Panic Heritage

"Washingtonians do not know how to drive in the snow: they slide and skid and spin their wheels and panic. By six o'clock traffic had stopped all over town. People abandoned their cars in snow drifts and marched grimly into the gale, heads down, newspapers wrapped around necks and stuffed under coats."

A description of today's chaos? Of course not! Nobody reads newspapers any more!

This nugget, Arthur Schlesinger's description of Kennedy's inauguration, was unearthed by Government Computer News. Yes, even in DC, publications with names like that weigh in on Snowmaggedon.

First Ask Dr. Snowpanic of the 2010 Snowmaggedon

Dear Dr. Snowpanic:

My friend BC is out of town [in some miserable place called Califunny] and is going to miss all the fun.

Can you suggest any words of solace to make him feel better?

(Of course, when he gets back and finds out his [so-called] friends drank all his beer; he'll really be in the cups...)

Regards,
Doing Without

Dear DW,

OK, Dr. Snowpanic is back from braving the crowds at his local Giant. He is also back from taking a nap to recover from braving the crowds at his local Giant, and is thus ready to dispense advice.

BC should not fear that he is missing all of the panicking. If there's one thing that will rival the scene at Giant just now, it's going to be the scene at the United counter at the airport Sunday, as displaced Marylanders mob the customer service agent with demands to be sent back...here? Just as science cannot explain the sudden spike in demand in milk and toilet paper that just transpired, neither can it explain air passengers' inability to chill and enjoy a few more days in the sun. BC should feel free to jump in the fracas to make up for what he's missing now. Bonus points if after clawing his way back for an important meeting on Monday, work ends up being closed.

Good luck!

-Dr. Snowpanic

If you're not panicking yet, let this guy help you.

Thanks to Snowpanic.com reader Jeanene B. for the tip. (Warning, you may want to turn the volume down a bit on your computer.)

Update: That link apparently changed; thanks to Snowpanic.com reader helen D. for the YouTube link.

No Food for You!

According to the Channel 4 News at Noon, the Whole Foods on P Street in DC closed its doors last night due to overcrowding. Individuals temporarily locked out of the store panicked on the sidewalk until the green grocer began allowing people in to shop in shifts. One shopper described another shopper at the scene as screaming into her cell phone that she "didn't have any food," and wondering what to do.

Whole Foods P Street also closed early, as planned, to hold its regularly scheduled staff meeting. Clearly they are not panicking.

Dr. Snowpanic, armed with a short list, went to Safeway last night for simple sandwich stuffs and easy edibles such as fruit and chips. Mrs. SnowPanic stayed home due to slight illness. Unfortunately, we just discovered we forgot a few things (sodas! kindling!), and so may briefly brave the crowds again today. Under no circumstances will we be leaving the house after SnowPocalypse, episode 2.1 gets thoroughly underway. Any minute now....

They're Making Fun of Us!

Keep in mind that an INCH is a big deal in our nation's capital, capable of instilling dread, closing schools - inciting a run on area grocery stores in a mad-mass panic. I'm really not exaggerating. There is nothing more baffling (and on some level, humorous) than being in D.C. before a snow "event". The locals just go nuts. Imagine how they're feeling tonight, doing everything but barricading the doors and retreating to their basements.

And I thought Midwesterners were supposed to be polite.

"Total accumulations of around 12 inches or more are a pretty good bet"

OK, the panic is back!

Snow Panic or No Panic?

 

One of the things that I feel separates the DC-area approach to snow from that of the Midwest or New England is the fact that, for us, snow storms are isolated events. The Midwesterner thinks, "More snow? I'll have to shovel it onto the existing pile." The Marylander thinks, "Snow? I remember that as being trouble."

Except now, snow fatigue is setting in. The snow we got last night was dumped on top of the snow we got last weekend, and the snow we get next weekend will go on top of that. Washington may be sick of snow, but it's no longer intimidated by the white stuff. When I went out to shovel the walk this morning, I thought, "This looks like 3 inches of snow. Piece of cake."

I blame this blase attitude for the lack of fodder for yours truly at Snowpanic.com. If you see further incidents, send them in and I'll post them, but the attitude here seems to be, "Well, it's no Snowpocalypse."

PS Of course, none of this prevented our contractor from canceling on us this morning.

PPS The above picture was taken in Minnesota, June 1962. (Just kidding.)

Double Trouble

There are two storms headed our way in the DC area. On the one hand, there's only a 15% chance for each storm to exceed 4 inches -- on the other, that means that there's a nontrivial chance that we'll get three significant storms in one week. Panicking yet?

Germany not immune to snow panic?

North Rhine-Westphalia, which includes the cities of Cologne and Dusseldorf, recorded 300 accidents on Friday night and Saturday morning.

Full BBC article here.

Panic Heads South; DC Area Just Mildly Nervous

The Capital Weather Gang, Snowpanic.com's favorite weather blog, predicts about 1-4 inches in DC, but 6-12 in Richmond.

Snow Panic, Texas Style

The Lubbock area is being hit with up to 8 inches of snow. Texas Tech has canceled classes, power lines are down, and the roads are dicey.

Meanwhile, the chances that DC will get anywhere near that much continue to drop.

Here's a link to the above picture of Amarillo snow.

Haiku

Soft, smoth, and crunchy
Snowballs and granita stuff...
Or hard zastruga!

Sent in by snowpanic.com reader Tanja Cilia.

Time to Start Thinking About the Milk and Toilet Paper...

The Washington Post's Capital Weather Gang has the following analysis:

Here is the current (VERY EARLY) probabilities on accumulations:

40% chance: Less than 1"
20% chance: 1-4"
20% chance: 4-8"
20% chance: 8"+

I recommend you skip the caveats, as well as the fact that less than 4" is the most likely scenario to focus on the fact that 4-8" isn't even the worst case.

The Colin McEnroe Show

The Colin McEnroe Show had a 50-minute discussion of "Snowmageddon" today.

I have posted an audio file of Dr. Snowpanic's 3 1/2 minute contribution.

"Snow panic, big time, in CT"

When I was invited to appear on Connecticut Public Radio, my big fear was that the radio host would think that I was Dr. Snowpanic because I had a doctorate in something related to snow panicking. After appearing on the show, I got an e-mail from someone in the Department of Psychiatry at Yale commenting on snow panic.

Dear Jon,

Heard you on NPR today and your comments reminded me of my reaction to Connecticut winters.

I grew up in Colorado and moved to Connecticut about 18 months ago. As a kid, I don't remember my schools EVER closing for a snowstorm. Some of my elementary school classmates skied to school. That was a place where several times, each winter, blizzards deposited two, three, four feet of snow on densely populated urban/suburban areas (with wind-blown snowdrifts piling to easily 20 feet. I have lots of photographs of me, my brother and my sister skiing off the roof of our three-story house). I have been by turns puzzled, amused, annoyed and enraged by the way people here deal with snow (or don't, as the case may be).

Last winter, a December snowstorm deposited maybe 5 or 7 inches in the New Haven area. Schools were closed, traffic snarled forever and the entire city pretty much ground to a stop. As it happens, the day of the big snow, I drove with my family to Montreal, Quebec, where, overnight, it snowed nearly three feet. Then, it rained on top of that, turning everything to solid ice. By dawn the next morning crews and machines had cleaned every street in town, life went on as usual and everyone enjoyed the winter weather. A few days later, on returning to New Haven, I was astounded to find that the streets still had not been cleared and the poor town was still pretty much paralyzed. What is wrong with this picture?

This is New England, right? It snows a bit, pretty much every year, right? You can pretty much count on the necessity to plow the roads and otherwise keep civilization moving, each and every year, right? Now, next year, the year after that and until global warming turns the place into Miami. Right?

What's the big effing deal? Most places where it snows, folks enjoy it a lot and cope.

P.S. Please don't talk to me about how expensive is efficient snow removal. Connecticut is one of the wealthiest states in the country, maybe THE wealthiest, far richer than highly tax-averse places, like say Montana, where they get vastly more snow and deal with it infinitely better. WTF!??

P.P.S. Socio-historical question: Isn't the problem that for hundreds of years, going back to colonial times, people who moved to Connecticut were utterly unprepared for North American winters and suffered greatly, along with their neighbors, their livestock and their crops? People in Connecticut react to their winters as though it was still the eighteenth century.

Christian R. Miner, Ph.D.
Assistant Clinical Professor
Department of Psychiatry
Yale University School of Medicine
New Haven, CT 06511

I have to say that I didn't expect Snow Panic to extend that far north.

Hello, Connecticut!

Dr. Snowpanic will be on The Colin McEnroe Show today around 1:40 to discuss "snow panic", the psychology of snowstorms, and this site.

If this appearance has caused any of Colin's listeners to wander over here, please feel free to e-mail your tales of Snow Panic to Dr. Snowpanic.

"Winter Weather Risk"

At snowpanic.com HQ, we're keeping an eye on what the Capital Weather Gang calls "a threat for mixed precipitation at times late Wednesday into early Friday." Over our years of watching Maryland weather, we've seen that sort of inkling turn into a doozy of a snowstorm more than once. Still not panicking yet, though...

Dear Dr. Snowpanic, 2010 division

Dear Dr. Snowpanic:

I heard BC is having his makeup party this weekend....

It's supposed to snow again. Hmm....

-Concerned

Dear Concerned:

Just as Redskins fans have learned not to make Super Bowl reservations when a rookie head coach jumps out to a 6-2 record, we here at Snowpanic.com have learned not to fire up the blogging engine every time the forecast calls for a dusting. While we do not require snowpocalyptic conditions to get excited, at least wait until the stores of your local convenience store are stripped of bread, milk, eggs and toilet paper before canceling your plans to attend this shindig.